My friend has been frustrated lately about the emotional labour she has to carry every day in her relationship by reminding her partner to stay connected with his friends and maintain his social life – and she isn’t the first person I’ve heard this from.
A lot of my friends have confided in the past about how they’re tired of being a nanny for their male partner’s social life.
There’s actually a word for this – it’s called “mankeeping”. The term describes the invisible emotional and organisational labour partners can take on to help their male partners maintain friendships and social lives.
It can be as simple as reminding him to text a friend, suggesting plans or organising the social calendar.
Steven, the boyfriend of one of my frustrated friends, has seen this dynamic play out in his own relationship as well as among his own friends. He told me that one friend’s wife recently messaged him to arrange a visit after the couple had welcomed twins. Steven and his friend had been talking about getting together for months, but somehow the plan never quite materialised.
“We had mentioned it to each other and said we’d probably ask our partners but it never really...
English (US)