For five decades, psychologists Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman of the Gottman Institute (GI) have studied couples and the issues that affect them.
This experience led them to develop their “four horsemen” theory of divorce, which found evidence to suggest that criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling usually precede separation.
Their research also showed that couples’ problems tended to split into three groups: solvable problems and perpetual problems.
Working out which one you and your partner are arguing about, the GI says, can help you identify the kinds of resolution you need.
What are solvable problems?
Solvable problems come about due to situational issues that don’t feel integral to a person’s character. That might mean one person is taking on the lion’s share of the housework, or you ...
English (US)