I'm modding GTA 5 every day until it becomes GTA 6 or breaks, starting with a new vehicle and enough missiles to level a city block

Well, we've been hornswoggled again. They did it. They're doing it. Rockstar is, as we speak, putting the finishing touches on Grand Theft Auto 6, the Final Videogame, but icing you and me out entirely. No Xbox or PlayStation? Enjoy pressing your nose against the glass of your console-owning neighbours as they find themselves delighted and transformed by the world's first $500,000,000,000,000 entertainment product.

I say: no. Not today, Sam (or maybe Dan) Houser. Every day, I am going to add a new mod to Grand Theft Auto 5, until it either becomes GTA 6 or collapses under its own terrible weight. If the mountain won't come to Muhammad, Muhammad will slowly alter a separate, but nearer mountain until it's indistinguishable from the one he wanted.

Today, day one, is mostly about learning. I have plenty of experience modding, but only really in games designed for it. I get the impression Rockstar would prefer no one change its babies, and so modding GTA 5 feels iffy and ramshackle: a process of gathering .asi files and hacky tools and crowbarring your way into the game's guts. Also, all the mods' instructions consist of a .txt file that says 'put mods'. Great. Excellent. Thank...